Monday, October 6, 2008

Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator



Yes, the American people have learned from experience that it's not the content of your resume but the quality of your character that will make you a good president.

This page uses a modified script from www.blazonry.com, a site with free scripts, examples, tutorials and web developer resources. Script Copyright (c) 1998-2007 Astonish Inc. All rights reserved.

465 comments:

1 – 200 of 465   Newer›   Newest»
Ben There said...

Pretty funny...

Jason Safoutin said...

I am: Hen Waffle Palin

MMM breakfast

kathrynwithay said...

Hahaha I would be Ladel Torque Palin. Pretty perfect.

dhconcerts said...

Cue Manhunt Palin here.

Jim Weixel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alex said...

"sarah palin, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:

Flack Gobbler Palin

Who knows, Flack Gobbler Palin you just might be president one day!"

That is just too fan-freaking-tastic!

Andrew said...

Flex Gunship Palin... sounds fairly accurate!

brownbag said...

What? "Filter Skate Palin?"...I hate you Mom!

doloresstreet said...

Khaki Salmon Palin

doloresstreet said...

my mom is Chop Meth Palin

Dana Hunter said...

This is hysterical! Thanks so much for giving me a much-needed belly laugh tonight. You'll have to stop by my Loin Falcon to see pictures of my Clamp Noodle sometime!

Sincerely,
Chin Trout Palin

deusexeverriculum said...

Just wanted to tell you all goodbye before I head off for Iraqistan to put an end to this stinkin' war once and for all.

~Torpedo Vindicator Palin

michael joseph harrington said...

This just made my day.

Sincerely,

Flag Cobra Palin

Kitty said...

Oh dear. As Shove Maggot Palin, I'm pretty sure I would be the "problem" child.

Evann said...

Shove, you might be the "problem" child, but as Seagull Junker Palin, I'm pretty sure I'd be the lead singer for an atrocious eighties band.

holystar77 said...

As Bang Walmart Palin, I'd be the one that dropped out of high school.


Twice.

silentassassin said...

Steam Fangs Palin..that's John McCain for you..

Nomi said...

Seriously now:

Creation Schwarzkopf Palin

!!
Does this mean I'm related to that family in New Jersey? Oy vey.

Essex said...

I'm Strangle Thicket Palin. Personally I think her bunch sound like a litter of Labrador puppies. If only she'd had one called Field (Track and Field....?)

franglais said...

My sister, Soup Landmine Palin, has just accepted to be Secretary of the new Agriculture and Defense Department in McPalin's administration.

SpAz said...

ROFL

"David, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:

"Bush Gator Palin

"Who knows, Bush Gator Palin you just might be president one day!"

Somehow I strongly doubt that. My name has been permanently stained with the last 8 years, and the Gator part isn't helping. Nope, definitely won't be president. I think I'm the suicidal child.

Veronica said...

Tis is Chin Trout Pakin, mother of Skein Chug Palin

Poe said...

My name is too ethnic for her to be able to Americanize. She would just abort me.

crabmommy said...

I am Rot Pipeline Palin. And I am proud.

Actually I amm Crabmommy and I wrote a Palin baby name satire for a column I write at Cookie magazine (Conde Nast, motherhood), discussing whether or not women should be allowed the right to choose...her own baby names. Should anyone feel so inclined, here's the link:

http://tinyurl.com/5zwfet

Thanks for the laugh. It's a riot.

Helen said...

My new name made my day. It's really funny. I'm not sure it would fit me except if I played hockey. My new name is Puck Mule Palin. My fiance's new name is Bullet Bodycheck Palin he's perfect for the Secret Service with a name like that.

Helen said...

I thought it would be funny to see what names Sarah Palin kids would have and they are more creative than their real names.
Track Palin=Crunk Petrol
Trig Palin=Molten Contra
Bristol Palin= Quarter Granite
Willow Palin= Churn Scorpion
Piper Palin=Spoon Archer

Jenny O Kwon said...

My name is Krinkle Bearcat Palin.

dee said...

Drill Swollen Palin here. I think my barefoot and pregnant fate is sealed.

Julianne said...

My name would be Meat Notgay Palin -- perfect for a gay vegetarian!

Possum said...

I am Krinkle Bearcat Palin: and so is my Guinea Pig! I'd definitely have some identity issues, and some endive and carrot wouldn't go astray...

a said...

sport grunt palin--holla!

teebob2000 said...

Plop Hero Palin. Damn glad to meet you!

valgreet said...

I think I will go invade a country when I am done typing this

Blaster Commando Palin

pmosh said...

Mom always liked me best!

Beretta Hockey Palin

http://www.236.com/video/2008/get_your_war_on_8919.php

nodoubt9203 said...

Creation Schwarzkopf Palin

LOL schwarzkopf = blackhead in german. Das ist nicht so 'murrican, nicht?!

Doxxa said...

You need to create a Facebook application. If you do you'll have millions of people experiencing what it's like to find your name would be "Plank Castle"

Jim said...

Laughed so hard tears were rolling ... thanks, very cathartic. Need all of that we can get right now.

Bigger Channel Palin

Adara said...

Icepick Motor Palin. Can I run for vice president too? I was captain of the debate team in high school.

anselm said...

Oh my God, I'm...

Mullet Troll Palin!

Sounds like child abuse to me... but then so does teaching your kids that Adam and Eve hung out with dinosaurs 6000 years ago.

Four more years!

Cathyfc said...

Molten Contra Palin

Help me I'm melting.... :-)

Dave said...

"Barack Obama, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:

Tarp Lazer Palin

Who knows, Tarp Lazer Palin you just might be president one day!"

Who knows? Might give him an edge if the repubs can't confuse him with Osama.

Jan Rivero said...

Well I'm sure the FBI will keep close tabs on me - I'm Stinger Assassin Palin!

Zelda said...

Fear me! I am KRINKLE BEARCAT PALIN!! ROWR!

Scott Scotch said...

Mullet Troll Palin checking in for duty.

sharpstyx said...

Bang Walmart Palin
Wow if only my mother had known...

sharpstyx said...

John Sidney Mccain, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:

Fork Decoy Palin

Who knows, Fork Decoy Palin you just might be president one day!

'nuff said

Darbylover said...

My name would be Missle Blunt Palin. That and Mrs. Palin is scary.

B_squared said...

My son is Still Hardrock Palin. You can imagine the teasing he gets in school.

lilyradiohead said...

My mom's real name is now Slay Panther Palin.
Is that some code? Should we be afreaid? Will the 'advance team' for McCain be pounding on our door?
Oh! The voices in my head!

Margaux said...

I am Plop Hero...

Quinn said...

My name would be Buster Taint Palin.

For a second there I thought I had entered my name into a porn name generator.

legallyryan said...

Pure brilliance!

Cheers,
Seagull Junker Palin

Liberaltruth said...

Loin Tunnel Palin...wow. I just love that!

Great job!

tracy said...

Hose Hotrod Palin! Amazing.

Carl729ae said...

Ammo Canal Palin... I love the "Canal" in there!

onthecurb said...

I am Shank Piston Palin. Here me roar!

The folks named Mullet Troll Palin? I hope you have a great personality. :-)

Gnushell said...

And these are the people who make fun of African American names!

Erica B. said...

Oh so glad I am not
Vise Peeper Palin

SpangledAngel said...

Hello from Seam Marauder Palin, my husband Ladel Torque Palin and our daughter, Puck Mule Palin! We're busy building our bomb shelter for the impending "Perhaps so" nuclear war with Russia!

ALT - [f r a m e s] said...

"osama bin laden, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:

Krinkle Bearcat Palin "

har

hotlaska08 said...

Pol Pot Palin aka Hotlaska

Chris said...

Funny for liberals to be making fun of the kinds of baby names that liberals are famous for when a conservative follows their lead. :)

dracine said...

Ha, I am Stinger Assassin Palin

Goddammit said...

Crank Widow Palin.

Awesome dude!

Jared said...

My dad would be Smoke Strapon Palin.

Something tells me the Democrats would be able to make some hay out of that one.

artgirlwhen said...

Spine Breeder Palin

Extra vertebrae, just what I need.

Daleo444 said...

the only name relevant is McSame. McPalin is the same old politics wrapped up in bad cheap off the shelf walmart style glasses. oh the other name thats important wil be "out of wedlock preggy" her daugher. all McPalin's lofty jesus preaching but cant manage her only family.

WordsOnPaper said...

WMD finally located! Bush went to war in the wrong country. I've been in the United States all along - WMD Cessna Palin

Mao Xinhua said...

Nixon Hailfire Palin reporting for duty, sir!

spam goes said...

Am I the only person who has noticed Sarah's last two name choices are both TV characters who... well, look at that, Uber-Christian conservatives. They were WITCHES. One of them was even a lesbian. *GASP* Surely, our model of Good Christian Values wouldn't allow such trash to be viewed in her home, let alone long enough to grow fond of a couple of character names... Would she? WOULD SHE?!?! Who yon gonna vote for now, Ye Of Dubious Political Criteria?! WHO?!

nimbuschick said...

Spam goes... Charmed didn't claim the names Piper and Bristol. Furthermore Christians like fiction too, so if they're "witches" who gives a crap. Harry Potter is Christian Allegory, the only people you see complaining about that are the loony Christians. The rest of us see it for what it is.

And yeah.. um... we really shouldn't talk about "personality politics" when Obama is ALL personality. No experience, very little concrete statement about what he plans to do. As a legislator he's voted "present" 130 times and as a Senator he's been away campaigning for 3/4 of his term.

Barack Obama wants to kill real estate and the US dollar with his economic policies. Have you looked at them? He's going to be Jimmy Carter 2 (who was the worst president in history, not just by my opinion, but by performance polls, the iranian hostage crisis, the economy, etc)

But I do think it's fair game and hilarious to mock her kid's names. Pfft. Trig.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

I think this is too funny, I linked to it. My name is Halter Grasshopper

Geoff said...

Bwahahaha!

So stupid.

Rbcozad said...

I'm dyin' over here!!! I'd be Strangle Thicket Palin....

What a riot...

jb said...

Outstanding. Signed, and forever in your debt: Stinger Assassin Palin.

Darien said...

Looks like I'm Log Justice Palin. I guess I'm destined to be either a judge or a vigilante woodsman superhero.

Kathie Jo said...

Commando Coalfire here, saying I am proud to be part of this family. Seriously, this is the biggest laugh I've had all day! Great name for a strong, psychologically messed-up woman!

muddimo said...

Rifle Panzer Palin. Yeeeeeeehaawwwww!!!

SP Gunning said...

Chalk Revelations Palin here. Proud mother of baby girl Gamebird Kelp Palin. God help us.

Lauren said...

Scat Dubya Palin

Hells yes.

Crunchy Domestic Goddess said...

Ammo Canal Palin

fabulous.

hubs said...

Would mind sharing the php code you used to create this? thanks!

Fr33Ag3nt said...

SARAH PALIN IS A CUNT! Help spread the word by rocking the t-shirt today... http://www.cafepress.com/palin_is_a_cunt

ekwoman said...

No....I'M Krinkle Bearcat Palin. Oh and so's my wife...

kasandra said...

Since I live in San Francisco, Fog Piles Palin sort of makes sense...

water said...

Another good one is http://www.areyoureadytobepresident.com

Chris Keyser said...

If Sarah Palin was her own mother she would named Flack Gobbler Palin. How did you program this site? Are the names just random, or is there some inherent logic that produces these bizarre combos.
Slam Spear Palin

mrsmcgibby said...

I, Shove Maggot Palin and the mother of Bomb Locomotive Palin. Good laugh, thanks

Lynne said...

Greetings from
Stag Tonnage Palin

And here I thought that was a weight measurement of the kills she's made from her ground and aerial vehicles.

John said...

I'm Oxycontin Track Palin!

Caitlin said...

stick freedom palin!

Doug Sobon said...

I am Mangle Blue Palin! But you can just call me ManBlue. Hey. Wait a second.

bugland said...

"Crumb Scramble Palin" actually describes me fairly well.

Michelle said...

Wesson Scalper Palin. Sweet.

mattwisdom said...

Commando Coalfire Palin, at your service...

geologue said...

If the Democratic ticket were children of Palin, they would be:
Tarp Lazer Palin for President
Beans Harpoon Palin for Vice President

Jim said...

NOW we know about those long Alaska nights!

Bang Walmart Palin

Jimmy said...

I am: Open Aircraft Palin

LOVE IT!!!

Chris Tillman said...

. . . Steak Leather Palin.

Peter Cedarstacker said...

barrack hussein obama, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:

Axe Diesel Palin

Who knows, Axe Diesel Palin you just might be president one day!

Jeremy said...

"Drink Hack Palin"

Hah! A drinking hack... I'd fit into the palin family perfectly.

red storm said...

I only wish I had 50 more names.

Your friend, Clip Dragon Palin

sophie said...

Shave Razorback Palin, should I be a hairdresser or a serial killer?

Jason said...

"lehman brothers" got a palin name of "pump bust"

please tell me that's rigged.

SF_Green said...

Krinkle Bearcat Palin

Rev. Ken Howard said...

Apparently, Joseph Lieberman would be "Mounty Bat Palin" of "Pistol Tanker Palin" for short.

I remain, yours truly,
Turbine Yukon Palin

Eric said...

Please stop making fun of my mum.

-Hunger Tallest Palin

Rogers said...

I've got my side business open for customers now. Please bring your own rigs. No shirt, no shoes, no problem.

Truly yours,
Chop Meth Palin

Elisabeth said...

I am....Sack Panther.

MEOW

Victor said...

"Goalie Sanka Palin."

So THAT explains why I got beat up in school so often. Also it explains Track's addiction to OxyContin.

jentaw said...

Rust Mustang Palin here...I must be named after what's parked in the back yard!

thi said...

Trowel Ogre Palin

Oh, man. What'd I ever do to deserve this?

Launchpad said...

I'm too late to be born to Sarah Barracuda, but this tool lets me be "born again" from Ms. Up-Do herself! Thanks!

I wrote about the Name Generator on my blog here.

Melanie K said...

sigh. I'll never be invited out to dinner again: I am Grill Igloo Palin

Deborah said...

CLIP DRAGON PALIN. How rockin is that?!!

David said...

What? Sport Grunt Palin. Heck, that's practically generic compared to the Dragon and Assassin Palins. But I guess I got the patriotism nod.
I love this.

Deborah said...

Ripper Shook Palin.... at your service.

Doctor Grumpus said...

With the name like I got, I'm tempted to email the esteemed governor and ask if she would legally adopt me:

Stinger Assassin Palin.

G. L. Dryfoos said...

Uh... "Charcoal Sniper Palin"??? I don't think so. Kinda unpleasantly inappropriate, don't you think?

If I go with just my middle initial instead of my middle name, I get "Snooker Hinge Palin" which seems a lot less ominous.

craigmont said...

Creation Schwarzkopf Palin

datroof said...

LEAVE SARAH ALONE

Thank you,
Qweef Clusterbomb Palin

CC said...

Dang I got them both

McCain Fortess Palin

dyancollingsralph said...

This is too awesome! Thanks for the great laugh!

Cheers,
Stockyard Mudslide Palin

Suraj Chandrakar said...

☭ Cheney Wolfhound Palin ☭

Jamieson said...

Falter Locust Palin.
I feel like a really unsuccessful biblical plague.

Hikerjava said...

The BEST of all time:

BANG WALMART PALIN

Man, I have to share this...

TheSexyTruckMan said...

Wow, i was reading some of these comments, and so many of the names repeat. And also that 2 comment argument somewhere in the middle im pretty sure George bush jr was the worst president ever. He got us into the iraq war and has caused more debt then all of the previous president. Wow

peace out
-Tank Dent Palin

tufdaawg said...

"dhconcerts said...
Cue Manhunt Palin here."

Hey, I am Cue Manhunt...how dare you steal my identity.

Brook said...

"Missile" is spelled with a second "i". "Missle" is not a word. Might want to fix that.

Stacy said...

My name would be Strike Chipper Palin. Wow. And I thought Stacy was waaaay to conventional.

riledupone said...

I am proud to be Plop Hero Palin. It has a kind of nobility to it, I think.

BrianB said...

While I would end up as "Tape Boise Palin," I thought I'd check for Palinesque appelations for the current gang of carpetbaggers.

Here are the results:

George Bush = Open Aircraft Palin
Dick Cheney = Wood Corps Palin
David Addington = Pump Bust Palin
Karl Rove = Ladel Torque Palin

caffeine-based life form said...

My sweetie and I got "matching" names:

Speck Backfire and Stockyard Mudslide

I'm thinking that that if we were Sarah's, we'd be ... Speck and Stockyard, aka "the twins."

Jocelyn said...

Cessna Field Myers Palin ...*go figure

Nice...nothing like having a good laugh first thing in the morning

Confused Slacker said...

Shoulder Frontier Palin...

that just reeks of awesomeness

Figlet said...

i too would be Ladel Torque Palin

how can the world get by with two of us?

Olga said...

Ammo Canal Palin here
I dunno, the dyslexic in me wants to read it as Anal Palin... Is that grandpa Freud speaking to me?

Wileyfex said...

John McCain = Steam Fangs Palin

tee hee

Renee said...

That's Miss Nixon Hellfire Palin. If you're nasty.

ecoutelalala said...

I'm Taupe Armageddon Palin.

My sister is
Blaster Commando Palin.

How sick is that?

squange said...

Looks like I am the adopted, Latin-American Palin, as I am the first and only

Mole Valdez Palin!

I like to think it's pronounced "mo-LAY" like the spicy chocolate sauce, and not "MOL" like a spot on your skin.

Tuli said...

Hi! My name is Duct.

Duct Idaho Palin.

I think I'm going to have my personal stationery changed. But, of course, I'd drop the Palin.

taffastrophe said...

Yes, yes, we get it. The internet crowd is pro-Obama. I'd like to see a random generator that spews out completely random things that Obama says when his teleprompter goes down.... like, you know, asthmatics needing breathalyzers, etc.

Twanna A. Hines | FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com said...

I'm "Trowel Ogre Palin"

DISGUSTING!!! :)

Carol said...

love it...but where is the mccain baby name generator? oh...he cannot "generate" babies???? hmmmmm.....

Twizzle said...

Hahaha, McCain Fortress Palin in the place to be! My roomates are Rock Crane and Cuppa Invader, and my dad is Bush Gator Palin. Great stuff!

MA said...

Tank Dent Palin on board!
what a laugh!

Fordeau said...

mine is Drill Swollen Palin

Twizzle said...

My girlfriend: Bomb Locamotive Palin.
Her sister: Pump Bust Palin (aww shit!)
My dogs: Mounty Bat and Speck Backfire Palin
Jesus: Axe Diesel Palin
My boss: Clop Clutch Palin
Sarah Palin: Flack Gobbler Palin

ames said...

you leave my mommy alone!

-- Spine Breeder Palin

Micah said...

Sarah Palin has more executive experience than all 3 candidates combined. If you want to talk about content of resumes. she's the one with any experience.

The Familia M said...

I will never miss you ...

your beloved son

Sack Panther Palin

billymax85 said...

Nam Guadalupe Palin. Pleased ta meetcha.

HelenWheels said...

Bang Walmart Palin even thinks his momma ain't qualerfied to be VeePee.

chapelboy said...

Smoke Strapon Palin. Unbelievable.

bakedunicorn said...

Meet my Family(:
Skunk Grunt Palin-My Mommy.
Vise Peeper Palin -My Daddy
Seam Marauder Palin-My Step Dad
Charcoal Sniper Palin-Me
Shank Piston Palin-My 5 year old brother
Taupe Armageddon Palin-My14 old Brother
Wesson Scalper Palin-My 16 year old sister.

You know you love us
xD

ARealCad said...

My cat is Stinger Assassin Palin

now that's right on the money

Fantasticos said...

Moose Roadster Palin reporting. So that's what, moose head on the hood of an Astin Martin? Or maybe a moose driving the Astin Martin? Y'know, with a cravat and a nice cherry stemmed pipe. Through Lichtenstein. In June.

Development said...

can you make this a gadget for my google home page? just asking.

iamvon said...

I do not understand?
What is so funny?
regards,
Loin Falcon Palin

sparklemagic said...

My name is Snowshoe Man.

Adam Cole said...

The world clearly faces a fearsome transformation if Sarah Palin becomes VP!

That's why I'm voting for Mr. Tarp Lazer Palin and Mr. Beans Harpoon Palin in 2008.

peace said...

I, Comma Liberty Palin, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Amen.

Donald said...

Meat Notgay Palin


she knows me so well.

Lindasusan said...

As Drown Wing Palin, I'd be the goth girl cutter in the family who listens to The Smiths a lot.

Brilliant idea -- thanks!

coopkeeper said...

Tape Boise Palin. I have a theory that all her children are named after the place they were conceived. So I guess I was conceived at the Office Depot in Idaho!

Simply Agrestic said...

Holy crap...my wife would be Smoke Strapon Palin...that sounds kinda hot.

Caron said...

I'm Wesson Scalper Palin and my husband is Can Lightning Palin ... looks like there will be a grease fire in the can tonight!

maryh said...

Charcoal Sniper Palin here! Can you help me find a grassy knoll and the closest Weber grill?!

Quarter-Life Crisis said...

Pick Beef Palin... I must be a lobbyist for the cattle industry.

James said...

You people have WAY too much time on your hands.

janiemag said...

Love it! :)

Ladel Torque Palin

Babs said...

I am the ultra-All-American Jeep Pike Palin.

MarcomMom said...

All I need is a metal detector! My name would be:

Rake Trinket Palin

Ty said...

Spackle Camshaft Palin

A Young Naturalist's Field Journal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary Lutz said...

WMD Cessna Palin! How's that for a name? What the heck is WMD???

My hubby would be Froth Moonshine Palin! LOL

And our kids would be:
Shaver Razorback Palin
Flex Gunship Palin
Stoppage Lead Palin
Chisel Dustup Palin
LOL! Too funny!

Mike said...

Greetings, from "Shoulder Frontier Palin"

SarahHub said...

I am Plate Jungle Palin. Wonder if I should consider that when I have another baby?

Brian said...

Crutch Camp Palin sez: "Anyone can be Prezeedent!"

becca skinner said...

Hook Tuneup Palin here, looking to flush out some community organizers and take back this country! Me, personally, for my own.

Gecko said...

Blitz Harden Palin here, though I really wanted to be named Calculus Pavement Palin. Wah!

Christopher said...

Froth Moonshine Palin, funny.

Ron Ray said...

"Halter Grasshopper Palin"
Dang! ... I wanted Flex Gunship Palin!
Waaaaaaaah!!!! I wanted Flex Gunship Palin!!!!!!

Laura said...

Mounty Bat Palin reporting for duty :)

Ron Ray said...

"Loin Falcon Palin" on 2nd try....
Now THAT I can live with!
Let's see... LOIN FALCO.... Falcon Loins.... Hey, this is getting better by the minute! Whoa!

Kyle said...

Thump Hummer Palin!

SmallWonder said...

Nixon Hailfire Palin

hellsyeah...

Rachel said...

i'm so proud to be Stake Shed Palin. Thanks, Mom!

jayisgorn said...

Bigger Channel Palin

Who knows, Bigger Channel Palin you just might be president one day!

Looks like I could either go into TV programing or sailing.

LanceThruster said...

This thing is scary accurate!

LanceThruster = Still Hardrock Palin

thesheepcat said...

Hey, count your blessings, bub. Fine to chuckle about being born to Sarah Palin with a funny name, but if Barack Obama were your father, you might not get a chance to be born at all.

I have to admit I laughed.
Wood Corps Palin

tradespan said...

Stinger Assassin Palin.

I'm already looking for the online application for a legal name change . . . that's freakin' awesome.

Jenny said...

My name is

Krinkle Rifle Palin

so don't mess with my family!

LanceThruster said...

If Sarah palin were her own mom she'd be - Flack Gobbler Palin

How very true!

laviemorte13 said...

I am McCain Fortress Palin

Which is a boys name, in my opinion....

how very, very cruel

Steve Douglas said...

Drill Swollen Palin! I Love it!

Sarahpalin said...

Oh this is perfect.

See also: http://sarahpalinclubswhales.com/2008/09/15/sarah-palin-clubs-whales/

Vivienne said...

My name is Bow Nato McNasty McBush McSame..... how interesting!

Kristi Brown said...

Block Lionel Palin at your service!

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